This Terrifying Childhood Experience Taught Me How to Survive as a Solopreneur
My nightmare day in the Happiest Place on Earth.
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I got lost in Disneyland when I was 11 years old.
We were in France to visit my family, who lived on the outskirts of Paris. My Great Uncle worked there as a doctor for many years — he and his family were fluent in French despite being from the UK originally, so it felt like a thoroughly authentic experience.
Naturally, we spent one of our days there at Disneyland Paris. As far as I can remember, it was my first ever visit to a theme park. Dad was still working back home in Northern Ireland, so I was accompanied that day by my mother and grandfather. My grandmother, who’d also joined us in France, decided to sit the whole thing out — she wasn’t one for roller coasters.
When you’re 11 years old, Disneyland is pretty incredible: the rides, the costumes, the parades, the food. I probably ate my body weight in sugar that day. It was an amazing experience.
Until I got lost.
A nightmare in The Happiest Place on Earth
I can’t remember exactly how it happened. One minute I was standing next to Mum, and then she was gone. I was alone, wandering among crowds of people speaking a variety of languages. The Disney thrill very quickly became terror. I was too embarrassed to call out for Mum or Granda. They’d never hear me, anyway. Besides, I was about to start High School in a couple of months, and you don’t do that sort’ve thing when you’re almost all grown up.
Instead, I continued wandering through the crowd, crying quietly.
Finally, Mum spotted me, or I spotted her. She ran to me, gave me a good telling-off for wandering away, and then gathered me up in her arms. I was safe again. Within minutes, the terror of being lost in a strange place subsided and we all went back to exploring “The Happiest Place on Earth”.
Getting lost as a kid is pretty terrifying. I’m sure most of us have experienced that at some stage, or have temporarily misplaced a kid of our own somewhere. That feeling of disconnection from familiarity is a potent panic-inducer. As a child, you cry and await comfort; as a parent, I imagine you’d quickly become hysterical.
Discombobulation
Something similar happens when you strike out on your own. Familiar people and environments are suddenly gone. You find yourself in a new place, surrounded by new people, doing new things. When I first started university, leaving the house I’d lived in for my entire childhood was a jarring experience, one that took a few days to get used to.
And when I properly left home for the first time to start a new job on the other side of the country, and I found myself living alone in a small semi-detached house in a village I barely knew, it was completely discombobulating (and now I can finally say I’ve used that word in a sentence!).
Going solo in business has a similar effect on you. People and places and safety nets you once knew are abruptly stripped away. You go from having regular contact with others (even if they’re not always people with whom you like having contact) to spending most of your time alone, unless you choose to work in a public place, like a cafe or library.
And the buck stops with you. If you make a mistake, it’s your fault; if you don’t hit your targets, it’s on you. There’s no-one else to blame. When you become a solopreneur, you have to get really comfortable with having all the responsibility for your business on your own shoulders, and fast.
I’ve made plenty of mistakes while working solo. I’ve succumbed to laziness, to FOMO, to self-doubt. I’ve pursued things that ultimately led nowhere instead of researching the best way to go. I’ve rushed into things when I should have taken my time. I haven’t always put the needs of others before myself.
But I’ve learned from these mistakes, and that’s all that matters. I’ve discovered where my true talents lie and I’ve never strayed far from those areas of my solopreneurial life. Much like my scary experience in Disneyland Paris, I’ve learned to stick close to the beacons of familiarity that keep me on track. I’ve stayed the course.
Look for the beacons
If you’re thinking about becoming a solopreneur, first identify what those beacons are in your life. What are you good at? What do you feel truly passionate about? What can you return to on a regular basis that’ll stop you getting lost in a sea of self-doubt and ambiguity?
As a writer, I make sure to put words on a page on a daily basis. That’s one of my beacons. I got a little lost this week experimenting with social media and didn’t spend enough time doing what I know I do best. Even typing these words right now is settling me down.
That’s what beacons do — they keep you on course. They recalibrate your compass when the needle gets a little wonky.
Decide what your beacons are before diving headlong into solopreneurship. Keep them close. Don’t stray too far from them, or you’ll quickly get lost. You’ll lose sight of what your original goals and ambitions were, and it’s not always easy coming back from that.
Too many solo business people end up throwing in the towel because they stray too far from their beacons, and the only other one they know is the 9–5 work life they’d run from in the first place.
Ground yourself in what you know. Lean into your talents and passions. Keep them within sight.
It’s the best way to survive (and then thrive) as a solopreneur.
Something I needed to hear! As an Artist I often feel lost and stray away from what I do best!
Thank you!
I got lost in Disneyworld in Florida at the same age! It left an indelible mark on me and like many childhood experiences that were hard shaped who I am today as a mom, wife, friend and boss lady! I should take your lead and write about it. 🙂