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By Sarina Chiu
“It’s time to get up,” I thought to myself as the rays of sunlight beamed through the window. I grabbed my phone and checked the time.
It’s 7:52 am.
I tried to remind myself what day of the week it was. It’s a Sunday. I don’t have any meetings to rush to, but today I have a full agenda. I have reels to film, plans to finalize my promotion schedule, orders to work on that came through during the week, and, oh, need to get back to the freelance designer on some changes. Also, my accountant is chasing on the spreadsheet that I’ve been avoiding…ugh!
I made myself a cup of coffee to calm my nerves: “You can do this, Sarina”
A notification came through to my phone.
It’s a sale, right? It has to be. It’s been three days since my last sale. Please give me a good Sunday.
Except it wasn’t. It was a message I have mixed emotions about: Ella left you feedback.
My heart pounded. Will it be good or bad?
Should I open it now? Will it ruin my day?
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The (many) days of self-doubt, highs and lows
Welcome to a day in the life of an entrepreneur.
I don’t know about you, but it wasn’t how I anticipated the life of an entrepreneur. I thought I’d be able to have a more balanced schedule and enjoy the time freedom I always wanted.
But the reality is, building a solo business is freaking hard.
I was obsessed with building. I had to be. It’s all on me to make this work.
I tried to put a system in place so I wouldn’t get overwhelmed, although there is still this unsettling feeling every time I put something out in public.
I tried not to let a bad review dictate my day. Or get fed up dealing with carriers because they lost the parcels and customers complained again.
Every morning, I told myself it’s gonna be a good day today.
I celebrate every single sale. Even at times, it was only a $4 digital item.
I built up a lot of mental strength to tell myself not to stress on small things. It’s going to be okay. But most of the time, I found myself just winging it and I didn’t like that feeling. I felt out of control; I didn’t know what I was doing.
I remember it was only 4 years ago; I was excited about the future of my business. I was passionate and practiced past midnight every day to learn to create my first prototype.
I tested the market by sharing my imperfect handmade products online and sold 10 in just a few hours.
I knew there was an appetite for the product. I went all in.
I spent the following two months iterating, testing, and promoting what was to come. I worked hard. But I was anxious. Would people buy it?
On the first day of my launch. I had 5 orders.
I nearly cried.
People PAID me for what I created. It was the biggest ego boost, and I couldn’t have been happier.
4 years later, I sold a few thousand products. I made 6-figures.
I had an average of 4.9-star reviews.
Yet, I still feel like an imposter. I still don’t understand why people would buy from me, and I still get anxious when a review comes through.
I don’t know if that will ever go away. As long as I am putting myself out in public, I learn to accept the feeling of not being good enough.
Show up when you just want to hide
I had to keep going back to my why.
It sounds cliché but it’s true.
Knowing your why is the only way to continue showing up even when things get tough.
And it happened a lot in business.
The month you didn’t hit your sales target.
The customer left damaging reviews.
The many days of creating content on social media and hearing crickets.
Customers requesting refunds and the postage you absorbed cost more than the product; you just lost money.
The supplier took your payment, but the shipment was delayed for months. You can no longer sell your products.
These are just some of the many issues that can happen in a business. But you have to keep going. You have no other choices unless you quit.
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Anxiety about money
If you quit, what happens to your investment?
You have spent money building and scaling your business, believing that you can one day live the life you want.
You can’t quit, as it means failure.
Let’s continue to push through. As luck would have it, you finally have a great launch, and cash keeps pouring in.
Finally…
But just when you celebrate a record-breaking month, your sales dip the next month because the initial excitement is gone.
Now, you have to come up with new ideas to promote, keep your content fresh and engage to acquire new customers.
The ups and downs in sales make you nervous. You’d better save for rainy days.
Slowly, you find it hard to plan ahead financially.
Because the basic math in finance requires spending below your means.
But if I don’t have a steady income every month, how do I know I’m spending too much or below my means?
As your business stabilizes, it becomes easier to predict because you can now forecast your sales based on past events. However, there is no guarantee.
I was constantly stuck in the mindset of not knowing how much I’d make the next month and feeling tremendous pressure. I was afraid to commit to any monthly costs, I don’t do any payment plans; I get phobia the moment I hear the word “loan.”
The creative drought
The stress of making sales also killed what I love most in building a business — being creative.
I still get to be my own boss and create anything I like. Sometimes my customers love it, and sometimes they don’t.
It was a hard pill to swallow when you rolled up your sleeves and created something beautiful, but no one wanted it.
You don’t get it right every time, that’s just life.
But when money is on the line, you have to keep pushing, keep creating. Even on days when you don’t feel inspired.
The constant pressure to create something new is mounting.
I got burned out.
Is it worth it?
Despite challenges, I still think everyone should try being a solopreneur at some point in their lives because it is the best way to discover who you are.
Before starting a business, I thought I would have made millions and enjoy the time and financial freedom I craved.
After starting a business, I realized I didn’t want the pressure and stress it took to make millions.
I didn’t want the emotional ups and downs of worrying about sales and continuing to save money out of fear.
I didn’t want to feel guilty for going on a holiday when I was supposed to be working, planning, or launching new products.
I didn’t want to work from home every day and have no other human connections aside from greetings over the monitor.
Maybe, I just don’t have what it takes to be a solopreneur.
But it’s ok. At least, I know better now.
I’ve no regrets. I tried.
This describes my train of thought exactly as a solopreneur... And, yes, I agree that everything is worth it. It's so relieving to discover someone experiencing the same ups and downs as me (especially the downs). I enjoyed reading this; it's encouraging. Especially the advice on getting really solid on your "Why" for when trying times come.
OMG you're describing my life here. And at the moment I'm thinking of quitting. I feel burnt out. What do you do now ? Have you stopped being an entrepreneur ?